A love that could have been

I had seen you before that night in class but I didn't notice you. No, you're not bad, it's just who I am.
This time, it was at night. I was in class, staring at pass questions for the course I had the next day. Your friend, B, had persuaded me to study before leaving school. You entered the class when I was ready to go to my hostel as I was tired of staring at what looked like Chinese on my laptop screen. I was uncomfortable where I was. I've never liked the idea of being the only man in the midst of many ladies. It always seems like a different world - one of rants, gossips and drama.
You entered the class like a superstar climbs the stage and everyone looked at you like you were one heroine of a movie. I didn't even stare at you for a second, but I couldn't stop staring at you when you asked me to shift... just like that! I mean, "it's me this girl just talked to this way? She must really be a crazy girl!" Well, I was right, you can be very crazy. It was late and I had to travel from school to my hostel, so, I had to stop staring and observing you; I had to leave.
The next day, I and B were together and she decided to call you when we got to the front of your hostel. It took you time to come outside, but I was familiar with that area and I'm used to being kept waiting, even though I hate it so much; so, I got a comfortable place for myself to sit while we waited for you. You walked out like everything was normal. I'd expected you to at least make those catwalks and wear different levels of smile, but you were just basic, smh.
The moment you got to where we were was the moment everything started. I didn't know what made me tease you continuously, probably it was because of your machowoman acts. The smart you didn't make it one sided anyway, you threw yours back.
I remember how interesting it was when we walked to the bank to withdraw. The way we talked about different things - academics, extra curricular activities, relationships and fuckboys. You made me very interested in you with the way you lived the journey - playing, laughing, dancing and listening to Ed Sheeran - you were full of life! Maybe that was why we connected so well. The night ended with me getting your phone number, a suya treat and a memory to live with. I wish I had accepted more suya that day though, but home training taught me when to say no.
In few days of just getting your contact,  you were my most frequently contacted contact. We talked about a lot of things and never had a boring chat. The times we didn't talk were the times we had other important things to do. It's normal to an extent to have a mental connection with someone who thinks like you, but to have an emotional connection with the same person with whom you're mentally connected too, is fire!
The long walk we had that night and those very deep conversations, the way we laughed about things and everything we talked about, the over 4 hours long call we made the other midnight, the game we played, the way we talked about our problems and how we proffered solutions to them, and the other day your kindness saved me from starving and how you told me never to mention it to anyone were enough reasons to start liking you.
I didn't know how deep, but I was really liking you and it was obvious that the feelings were mutual. Even though I knew something was building in my heart, all I could think of was to keep on being in your life; living, loving and laughing with really no plans of relationship or other complications, at least, at that moment.
But then, life happened. You remembered your past experiences; how people have hurt you in the past and how you can't afford to stop being happy for that moment. You felt it was right for you to stop whatever was growing between us. You are selfish! You only thought about yourself. Why did you have to make me suffer for the actions of people I don't even know? Why did you have to kill a love that was growing - a love that could have been!? Why did you have to push me away? Why did you have to do all those?
It's hard today being very basic with you when you already exposed to me; the beautiful, extraordinary, and deep parts of you.
If at all you're reading this, Aduke, pick up your phone and call me. At least, if I'd lose everything, I never want to lose hearing you laugh. Call me, let's laugh together. Let's feel alive together and let us once more, make memories that will last forever.

I miss you, even though we still talked yesterday...

Koyum Kolade Afolabi.
KK Awesome.