A YEAR OF DEAD DREAMS, GOALS AND PURPOSES.

On this day, 30 months ago, I had threatened Ayo it was going to be the last time I'd ask her to be mine. I had asked her out two times before that but she said 'no' on both occasions. You know the kind of 'no' that draws the 'noer' closer to you that you have to ask yourself the same question people have been asking - "are you two dating"? That was the kind of 'no' she had said.
Normally, her no would have pushed me away from her but this 'no' drew me closer because it exposed me to her innermost beautiful parts that I had not seen. We connected so well and like magnets of different poles in a strong magnetic field, attracted each other.
I knew I was going to hurt myself if I didn't define our relationship. I had to ask, and this time, for the last time. I was going to stop talking to her if she said 'no' again and I was ready to mourn the loss of what I never really had.
She was not looking her best on her white and black outfit to create awareness on AIDS on the annually celebrated World's AIDS Day but there still was no other girl whose beauty matched hers.
It was around my department, on our way back from the bank, passing our normal long and time wiling route when I asked her to stop. Even though I had done this before, my heart couldn't stop beating fast like that of someone that just finished a 100 metres race. My muse was right in front of me, so, it was easy for the words to flow. At exactly 7.10 pm by my wristwatch, after talking for over ten minutes asking her to be my girlfriend, this time, unlike other times, she said  'yes'! Oh my goodness! "Did Ayo just say 'yes'?"  "Sure, she just did." - I asked myself that question and it was also answered by me.
Better than I felt May 2014 when I celebrated my first trophy as a regular Arsenal Fan after so many years of being trophyless; I felt joy, happiness and fulfilment. She was my dream and I just realised her. She was a dream and she just came true.
Like a baby trying to pass an information but can't talk, I kept on staring into her beautiful eyes, going back and forth. Not having the right words to describe how I felt at that moment, I hugged her tight and assured her of my feelings.
I was not expecting our relationship to be bad but rather filled with passion and zeal, as we both were innocent and passionate teens just getting to know life. Reality surpassed my expectations - we became the best partners around. When I showed passion of fire, Ayo showed that of hell. When she showed a garden of love, I showed a paradise of it. Harmlessly, unknowingly and beautifully, we were into a competition neither of us was winning.
We had a chemistry so strong that if we had held eachother's hand and fall from the top of a tower, we would have disobeyed Physics' laws.
Being a young boy with almost nothing, it was not my plan to be so much in love. But what could I do? Love refused to see my age and status before coming to me. There was nothing I could do about it, and I was enjoying it anyway.
I'd never stop writing if I talk about the things that happened when we were together but I'll also not forget to point out the important things that I wish to reveal.
Ayo made me know what love truly is; that it surpasses the relationship - it's more of having to be yourself and at the same time, be a part of someone else. She made me realise that life is better when you have someone who you can share almost everything with.
She taught me to sacrifice, which made me realise that there is no harm in going far to help others and do your part in making someone else's life better. She made me understand that with our countless flaws, we can still be cherished, loved, adored and seen as infallible. She made me aware of how far someone else's support can be to one's life. Ayo made me realise that with love, you can do anything and with it, the world would be a better place.
Fast forward to 18 months after December 1st 2014, after making enough memories and on the verge of doing more productive things together, I was left with no choice but to call it quits with My Beloved; The Meaning of My Life.
The society had claimed her from me. She had become more of the 'normal' lady. My flaws were now very apparent to her and she felt I had to grow beyond what I was.
She had asked for a break 4 days before then because she wanted to be able to say "I am single" and mean it! I didn't know what the break was going to be like, so, I gave it to her. Especially when she said that she was going to come back.
On June 1st 2017, I just couldn't stop myself from 'doing it' when the one that had given me life was taking it back from me.
"The truth is that you're too soft and no lady wants a guy that is too soft."
"Man up and stop acting like the kid here." All these words and more from her mouth! The words were unable to leave my head and I just had to break up with my carefully and passionately long-term planned dreams.
What life was after she left, the complications that came up as a result of the split, the steps I took, the mistakes we made; I'm choosing not to address or write about as I only want to mark A YEAR OF DEAD DREAMS, GOALS AND PURPOSES.
The same person who promised to be around forever walked passed me two weeks ago and didn't even say 'hi'... but but but... This is life, these things happen!
And and and... that is the end?
To the hard guy that has/would end up being with Ayo - please, treat her right and be good to her as I still want the best for my once upon a time Heartbeat.
And to you that is reading - nothing stays the same forever - love when you can, trust undoubtedly, laugh uncontrollably, forgive totally and never regret anything that made you smile. Watch who you make memories with, as those things can last a life time.
Remember, when you lose something good, don't be afraid to try again as you just might end up getting something better. I've gotten to realise that "no one is replaceable" and "no one is irreplaceable."
Everyone you meet is different from who you have met as they all have a different thing to teach you.

Thank you for reading!

AFOLABI, Koyum Kolade.
KK Awesome.
+2348180026133.
Afolabikoyum@yahoo.com
1st of June, 2017.